Getting seriously buff.

Ok, not that buff. But seriously, when I was 18 I went to four hours of basketball practice per night and I had no other choice in the matter, as stoner kid didn't fit with my wardrobe. Since then I have never had adequate time with which to spend on my bod. Years of desk sitting will (a) spread your ass out and (b) make you convinced that you need a 1,000 calorie mid-day meal consisting of Chinese buffet or large cheese filled sandwich. Neither are awesome. Thus, I feel that all of this time spent not working can be filled with LOTS of kinds of buffing. The first and most obvious suggestion is, WALK EVERYWHERE! You're not going to be late if you leave early enough, so hoof it.

The second is...DON'T BE MAD....go on some weird diet. Like a juice fast, or be vegan for a week. Or only eat clear soups and grapefruits. These are things that are next to impossible when you work in a "downtown," as that is code word for "every kind of lunch you can imagine right at your fingertips." Not only are you downtown, but you have coworkers who will question you to death about WHY THE EFF YOU WANT TO GET SKINNY WITHOUT THEM. Also, contrary to popular belief, you wont die. I swear. One time I didn't eat anything but light beige liquids for 5 days and although my eyeballs turned a weird color, I didn't die. Why not just try it? 

For the record, I have way way way better ideas for sustained buff gathering that I will be sharing shortly. Truth be told, I had a couple of (free) beverages with a pal from the aforementioned basketball days and this seemed like the most controversial thing to share with you this evening.